Monday, September 19, 2016

That word tho

Love is fucking terrifying.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Surfcation / No One Cares

I just got back from a fucking awesome surf vacation in Mexico with my brother and some friends. Actually were technically my brother's friends, but I consider some mutual friends, as we've hung out without my broseph. Importantly, most of them were also good looking, chill guys. There were also a few chicas in the mix.

We rented a big villa right by a surfing beach with our own pool and errythang. Most of crew surfs all year rounds so they were crushing waves for the majority of most of the days we were there. I was alright on a longboard, but shortboards are fucking tricky. Whenever I know I'm going to have the opportunity to go surfing (about once a year) I always delude myself into thinking there's way more crossover from snowboarding. They're both boards, right?! Yeah...'cause in snowboarding you're often paddling and laying on your board? Regardless, it was still fun to be out in water.

We also rented a sailboat and sailed to a little island not far from our beach. It was a surreal paradise. 

My brother's friends were cool and mostly we had a great time drinking and being stupid and laughing a lot. But this nagging voice in the back of my mind would pop up regularly:
They're only being cool with you because they think you're straight. If they knew, they would be treating you differently and it would suck.

We flew back early the day before Christmas. Our skin was mostly uncharred, except for Eric whose entire body was pealing. He rolled around on the grass, joking that he was a snake shedding his skin. 
 * * *
Back stateside, I'm in the car with my brother leaving the airport.

So, did you have fun? My brother asks.
Yeah, I had a fucking blast.
Good. Yeah everyone said they were glad you ended up coming. 

After a brief pause:

You know, you can tell everyone that I like dudes. I don't care, just didn't feel like bringing it up.
Oh they all know. Everyone here knew before, and no one cares.

Being wrong hurts so good. 

Happy holidaze y'all. 

Monday, September 22, 2014

Life is just so, ___. Ya know? Sean 2.0

Huge news. I took a Facebook "quiz" that said that I should move to New Zealand. This has been, like, a life/religious/spiritual epiphany of sorts for me. I finally feel like I "get it". Answers come into focus; meaning abounds. As such, I am writing this from Christchurch.

Anyways, thanks for your emails. I've been alright.

* * * 

I stopped seeing Ald—he just wasn't the bro for me. A couple weeks later I met Sean. No, not this Sean. A new Sean. Fuck that other Sean. He lives in San Fran and is a head case. Regardless, Sean and I met at a concert.  This is "true", but also a lie. We "met" on Tinder, but we actually met up for the first time at a concert. I was there all fugged up with my buddy, he the same with his bros.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

My Brother Sam Is Pretty Cool These Days

I hear an alarm go off in the next room. I roll over and look at my phone. 7:30AM on Saturday morning. 

A few minutes later, just as I'm about to fall back asleep,
"Hey, you ready to hit the water?"

It's my brother, Sam. 


We're going surfing. 

The waves suck, I suck, and the water is freezing, but it's a blast anyways. 

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Summer Playlists

"Music is the soundtrack to my life" lololo. 

But yeah I dig music. I was raised on classic rock, but since college I've been listening mostly to new stuff. Here's some shiz I've been listening to. 

Scroll down to play:

Friday, June 13, 2014

Life In Grey

It's interesting that some of the same misconceptions that people in my real life have formed about me, some people on the internet have also formed. It doesn't really bother me, but I do find it interesting how so few people are able to understand people who don't fit neatly into prescribed bins. Someone reads a post about say lifting and thinks "Oh what a jock asshole" or about Jonah Hill and thinks I actually give a fuck what he says. It's called a thought exercise, Christ. Part of the problem is that we're taught in school to think binarily from a young age. Correct/incorrect, right/wrong, winner/loser fact/fiction jock/nerd: these are all ridiculously simplified concepts in school and in many people's minds.