Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Gym Pt II - You lookin' a me?

Have you ever noticed that there is almost no mutual checking out at the gym? If you're interested, they're not. If they are, you are not. Over the past few years there's been one, count it, one guy whom I've been interested in at the gym who was also interested. And he was an Australian who was just visiting for the week. As I've said, I'm basically just there to work out, but I do glance around to see what's shaking.

First, you have your weakbros who don't know what the fuck they're doing. They stand around a lot, looking everywhere and at everyone because it's awkward when you first start going to the gym. They often mistakenly try to copy the biggest bros they see, even if they have terrible form. They can also be found spot training on the ab curler. Again, not hatin' as I've been there

Then you have your obvious gaybros who, while sometimes in great shape, are often shamelessly checking everyone out. It's one thing to give quick or subtle glance, but some of these bros are grilling anyone they think looks good and trying to force eye contact. 

Meanwhile, I'm focusing on my workout unless there's some particularly bodacious bro and then I just look out of the corner of my vision, occasionally. Obviously if we interact I'm totally normal about it.

Lastly, there's the gym rat. He seems to live there, as you see him there no matter what time of day you go. He's probably wearing a tattered tank top or a full sweat suit--apparently it's all or nothing. This guy is fully aware that people are looking at him, but is staring unwaveringly at himself in the mirror. I do sometimes get looks from these guys in a "damn, he's strong for his size" way.

What it feels like, at least

And OK, I left out girls. Maybe the guys check out the girls a little, but from what I've seen this usually amounts to a quick "nice ass" thought or comment and then it's back to checking out each other's biceps. And maybe the gaybros are looking at the same guy I am, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like they are stalking me in a small space. 

To be clear: I'm friendly if anyone interacts with me; I give and receive spots when necessary, work in with others, and don't hit on anyone. But how am I supposed to know if these dudes I'm crushing on are interested? I occasionally will do a little man-flirting, but I feel like they usually just take that to mean that I'm "straight as fuck".

Maybe I'll just toss 'em one of these:

Nice n' subtle. 

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  1. LOL. Fun post.
    When you figure this out, let me know. I have the same problems.

  2. ugh i hate when ppl think im the skinny weak guy in the gym. i run 13 miles in 104 minutes, but i do light weight exercises to keep me in general shape for the past 4 years, and some guy who can lift a little bit more then me tries to give me "advice and help a newbie like me out" SO ANNOYING!

  3. Hahahahaha! This is exactly my experience, except that I'm on a Powerlifting team, and these classifications go for everyone who is not on the team. Thanks for putting this into words man.

  4. I been told that people check me out at the gym by a friend I work out with sometimes but I swear I do not notice any of it. Can it be possible I am that dense?

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