Monday, March 4, 2013

Bromo Movies: Best No Hetero Flicks

Do you remember the moment you realized that you liked shitty 90s teen movies for the male lead characters? 

Wait, can my attraction to bros be traced back to Paul Walker in Varsity Blues? Shit, internets, we're really working out my psychological history here...

Understanding who we are and what we are is a process, and it's pretty strange to keep a secret like being of a different orientation. Specifically, puberty is a fucked up time for a lot of us.

For me, it wasn't that I had any trouble at school, or with other people, but it was when I realized that I was play-punching my brother's friend in the stomach because I liked the feeling of his abs against my knuckles—that it wasn't the norm to not think about girls when they weren't around.  I wasn't thinking about guys in a sexual way yet, but I definitely wasn't day-dreaming about chicks. At all.

Once I realized I liked dudes I didn't know what else that meant. I saw the media depiction of gays, but that basically just depressed me: "Oh, so it's like we're all supposed to be jokes?" I thought to myself.  Awesome. Because those were essentially the gay characters that were visible back in the day. Similarly to the way black people were portrayed in teen movies as "token" characters, there were token gay dudes who acted all stereotypically. This is still very common, but has improved some.

Over the years I've watched some of the "gay interest" shows and movies (spoiler alert: most are horrific). I figured I'd share a list of some of the ones I've seen and what I thought about them. My ratings are what I think of them compared to other gay movies, not to actual (good) movies.

Shelter (2007)

It's not really well-acted or "good" but it's probably the best one I've seen in terms of making me think, "Why isn't actual life like this? Where are all these gay surfer bros? "

A Beautiful Thing (1998)

British film about two young guys that live nextdoor to one another and end up getting down. One of the guys is hilariously unattractive, but it has a good storyline.

Come Undone (2000)

French movie that's actually fairly good. This guy goes to his family's summer house and ends up getting involved with one of locals from the beach. Very accurate in terms of the relationship. Again, pretty sad. Ignore the cover photo if you look it up.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

It was good, OK? Sorry that it was a mainstream Hollywood film starring to very attractive, hetero male leads. I don't feel the need to watch it all the time, but it's worth checking out, regardless of the hype or anti-hype.

Get Real (1998)

Meh. It involves the good-looking popular high school guy being non hetero, but the story is not about him, and the whole thing just didn't feel all that believable. British.

Summer Storm (2004)

German movie about a rower that falls for his best friend. Well done movie, and probably very accurate, but also sad. I won't ruin it.

North Sea Texas (2011)

Another foreign movie. Before I wrote this I didn't realize how many of the ones I liked were foreign. Don't watch the trailer.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

Not a gay movie per se, but definitely worth a watch. And yes, it's in Spanish—use subtitles, fool.

Weekend (2012)

People are all over this movie's balls, but I thought it was mediocre. I can see why others liked it, just not for me.

Mysterious Skin (2004)

This movie was fucking weird. If you're into more crazy shit, you may like it more.

Latter Days (2003)

The gay-gay dude ruins this for me. The Mormon bro is studly—just wish he found another guy like himself to get with instead of the typical LA gay guy.

I've watched trailers or pieces of other ones, but they weren't worth mentioning.

So what do you guys suggest? Also someone sent me a message and said that my blog is on Reddit. Sweet? Glad to have any who are interested read.

- Subscribe, share, enjoy -


  1. Definitely recommend A Single Man (2009). A very well done film. Probably one of my favorite films. The attention to detail in this film is insane.

    Just a Question of Love (Juste une question d'amour - 2000) -French film
    (haven't seen all of it, but it was mad awesome from what I'v seen so far)

    The Parade (Parada -2011) -Serbian film. its kind of a dark comedy.

  2. I actually liked the character of X from "Boy Culture".

    If you want something that is amusing in the "insults everyone's intelligence but has its moments" way, check out "Friends & Family". The two lead characters are a couple of ex-Rangers who work for the Mafia.

    "Defying Gravity" deals a bit with the conflicts of being gay in a frat. I have no idea how realistic it is, and the leads aren't necessarily top-model looks, but I do like the relationship between the lead and the head of the frat.

  3. Check out Burnt Money, a true story about two gay Argentinian bank robbers. They play very against stereotype, are very masculine, and it's a well-made movie overall. Subtitles a must...

  4. try this danish movie - Broderskab

  5. Big Eden is a great film.