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Thursday, April 25, 2013

WTF is Heteronormativity Part II

It's funny because to many bros what I write and the points that I make, while sometimes controversial, are clear. Others seem to be skipping lines, or reading between them unnecessarily, and the result is misunderstanding. So I'll take another crack at it and try to speak as plainly as possible.

"your earlier posts are pretty condescending to anyone who follows stereotypical gay identity trends, which makes it seem like you are concerned with what other people are doing and how it reflects on you."
I would criticize anyone who follows a trend out of insecurity or "to fit in", but if you happen to truly agree with something that other people are doing or like, that's obviously fine. It's everyone's prerogative to live a largely self-indulgent life, and either pretend their actions don't affect others or simply not care, but we'll get to that.

"the idea that gays need to do this or that thing that is typically associated with straight culture in order to be more accepted"
I don't think that gays "need" to do anything, and they definitely shouldn't do it for heteros. I merely suggested some small, superficial compromises for the benefit of the non hetero community at large. The amount of narcissism masked as free-spirit-ism is actually becoming nauseating.
"Gays need to stop sleeping around"
No. I don't care about anyone's sex life. At all. Will not discuss this again. Read.
"They need to stop having pride parades where they run around in their underwear, they need to stop speaking with lisps"
First off, never mentioned anything about lisps, and never told anyone to explicitly stop doing anything. Is gay people speaking with lisps even a thing? If it's an affectation for attention, then yes, that would annoy me in the same way that any affectation for attention is irritating. If it's medical, i.e. a sigmatism, then what the fuck does it have to do with anything?

As for the underwear parades, this will be the last time I address this topic as well, as I've covered it multiple times. Pride parades served a purpose in the past of attracting necessary attention to the existence of non heteros, when many people legitimately thought we were mythical creatures. And I'm sure it's a nice feeling of self-expression and a delectable source of attention for some, and while selfishness is cool and all, what purpose now, in April of 2013, does dry humping each other 90% naked on a float serve?

Try to remember what it was like to be a young nonhetero. It's a confusing time and most of us looked where ever we could to try to better understand what we were feeling towards dudes and what that meant. For me, and many readers of this blog, all we saw were people whom we couldn't identify with. At age 13, was I supposed to find something in common with a muscly, bearded man in leather chaps, or an effeminate bleach-blond twenty-something in a neon speedo? Was Will & Grace supposed to guide me? This is what was visible. I'd like a more diverse sampling to be visible for the next generation.

Some may try to argue that it's 100% on us to step-up and make ourselves heard and visible, but this would be like saying that in the school room analogy, it's not that Peter needs to stop taking off his clothes, interrupting the other students and show a little restraint, but rather that all the other students should try to talk over Peter, take off their clothes to get attention, and interrupt hard, faster, stronger, better to be heard.

Many of these statements are also predicated on the idea that compromise of any sort is unacceptable. It's like if these people were given a hypothetical offer for equal rights and the eradication of bullying, but then were asked in turn to concede their zany parades that they would refuse flat out, "on principal". What kind of fucked up principals do you have where you think your desire for perfectly and constantly uninhibited freedom of self-expression and need for attention trumps the rights and well-being of a large group of people?

If I were told that walking down the street in a speedo would help make little gay bros' lives easier, I would in a second. Why is the reverse so difficult to swallow? It's the not way that I speak, e.g. using the word "bro", nor how I dress, e.g. occasionally a backwards hat, that defines me. I lift weights, I play sports, I read books, I write, I get drunk, I like guys. These are a just a handful of characteristics, none of which is synonymous with me as a person.

Am I speaking Esperanto here? Christ.

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