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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Gettin' Tired

I'm tired of all this bullshit.  I'm 25 god damn years old. 



I'm tired of skating circles around the truth.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Ry Guy

First off: 50,000+ page views—sweet. Almost makes this shit feel like not a total waste-of-wasting time.

Ryan came to stay at my pad last weekend in a somewhat impromptu visit. I had told him that he "should come stay at my place sometime". And while he definitely tries to play it pretty cool, the fact that he came two days after I invited him says something.


I saw him from a distance and smiled to myself at his predictably preppy attire. Boat shoes, bro? Obviously. We hugged hello casually and agreed that we should grab a beer somewhere outside.

We quaffed and talked and bantered. He's is a pretty cute bro, I thought. He's not the stud-type bro that I tend to go for, but he's cute as shit.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Can I Get A Spot, Brah?

Just a quick reminder that the internet is serious, as is this blog, so act accordingly.

Today one of my brocrushes at the gym asked me to spot him on his last set of standing bicep barbell curls. For those of you who don't lift, it's a little weird to ask for a spot on his exercise. The only lifts I'd say require a spot would be if you're maxing on barbell bench, or doing very heavy squats. There are some others in the gray area where a spot is nice, but bicep curls would fall somewhere toward the bottom. Regardless, he is jacked and good-looking, albeit young—maybe twenty years old—so I was like "sure, bro".  He usually wears a loose, striped tank that he partly tucks into the back of his sweats so that his big ol' ass is always on display.




Monday, May 13, 2013

Ryan Gosling Behind Some Pines

I liked those gifs before so I taught myself how to make them. I know, I'm super smart. Some of you are probably thinking that this was "an epic waste of time". Others of us know what the word epic means. Still others understand that making gifs is actually really, really fucking easy.

Anyways, here's my summary of the indie flick "The Place Beyond the Pines" starring indie/underground actor Ryan Gosling in his debut film role. 

So the opening scene is this...

At the beginning R Gos is all brooding and badass and shit

Friday, May 10, 2013

Looking For Gold In A Shit Mine (Dating Websites)

Exhibit A (verbatim)

---- FROM w*********y  May 09, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Hi, "bromollectual" is funny. So you are an avid writer? I wish I could write better. How is life over there?

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Avid? Oh geez, I don't know...

---- FROM w*********y  May 09, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Well it's a good skill to have nonetheless. Ever been to the Windy City?


The Windy City?

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:12 PM
Sure. Have you ever been to The City That Never Sleeps A.K.A. The Big Apple? Feel free to just call it Chicago. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Hetero Bros

Holy shit. Why do I waste so much time thinking about "straight" guys? I'm not talking about my friends; I'm talking about hetero bros that I've never met or don't know well, that I have mancrushes on.

Like at the gym there are guys that I glance around for every time I go. There are some bros that go at more or less the same times as I go so there are plenty of familiar faces (arms, legs, asses). Many of these guys check me out, but most of them in a very hetero way. As in, they visibly look at what I'm doing but not in a sexual way, and usually only for short time. Whether or not they are consciously controlling this, I don't know. I know that for me, there are some dudes that I have to consciously not look at.
I'm apparently that douche that takes pictures of himself in the mirror
Yeah, it's douchey, but if I use a picture that someone else took of me it'd be much more identifying.

Anyways so there're a few of those bros who are kind of mutual hetero checkout buddies, and then there are the ones that I actually have some (probably twisted) hope that they are into guys. It ranges from bros that kind of give me a nonverbal "what's up" with a smile when we see each other, to guys that come up and actually introduce themselves. Like the other week, this guy made some little joke and then kind of introduced himself to me. He's a ginger, which isn't usually my thing, but he's actually good looking and has a very nice body. And I guess these bros are just trying to make friends with me? But dude: I don't want to be friends—I want to bang you.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

No Hetero Chapter 2

I'm tired of writing formalized shit. It was nice way for me to organize my thoughts and opinions, and I may write that kind of post occasionally again, but infrequently because it's boring me and this is my fucking blog.

So I met up with this bro again whom I met, not online or anything sketchy, but just through another non hetero friend. People have been surprised that I was into him. I guess people think that I always go for the alpha-male type, but as we've been over, no one seems to read me correctly.

I mentioned Ryan before, and my predictions were mostly correct, unfortunately. We get along really well, and we have a lot in common in terms of our upbringings and experiences. But the sexual spark is not really there. He's not a total dead fish or anything, but it's nothing like with John where we'd get all carnal and bang, possibly have multiple orgasms, and then just collapse out of exhaustion.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Frat Star MVP 2K13

A new reader reminded me of this topic, which has been on my list since the inception of this blogpad.  This is a subject is a little tricky to write about without using identifying details, but not impossible, so I'll give it a shot.


A fraternity is a group of guys selected by a previous group of guys who have gone through a similar experience. All the other stuff is variable: how much they have in common, what type of activities they do alone and together, and how often.

At my particular frat, we raged our faces off. This is not atypical, but we of course liked to think we were the craziest. Raging is a fairly primal experience. You are with a bunch of guys, fucking poisoning your brain with alcohol to just before the point where all your systems shut down. This all to the tune of some competitive drinking game. Was I very good at every drinking game? Why are you even asking that question?  I still like raging occasionally, but not as much as back in the day.

But fraternities are not just about drinking, obviously.