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Friday, May 10, 2013

Looking For Gold In A Shit Mine (Dating Websites)

Exhibit A (verbatim)

---- FROM w*********y  May 09, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Hi, "bromollectual" is funny. So you are an avid writer? I wish I could write better. How is life over there?

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Avid? Oh geez, I don't know...

---- FROM w*********y  May 09, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Well it's a good skill to have nonetheless. Ever been to the Windy City?


The Windy City?

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:12 PM
Sure. Have you ever been to The City That Never Sleeps A.K.A. The Big Apple? Feel free to just call it Chicago. 


---- FROM w*********y  May 09, 2013 at 11:16 PM
I have been to NYC many times and will be there this weekend for a family reunion in fact. I hear it is going to rain on Saturday but what can you do? I love the Big Apple...just a bit pricey. lol

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:19 PM
City nicknames AND the weather? What excellent topics of conversation.

---- FROM w*********y  May 09, 2013 at 11:20 PM
Well different than the horny chat most probably have on here....or perhaps it's all about sports on here? lol

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Weather v. Sex & Sports, a landmark case. 

---- FROM w*********y May 09, 2013 at 11:23 PM
And the verdict is?

---- FROM nohetero May 09, 2013 at 10:26 PM
Guilty of banality in the third degree. Sentence is self-reflection and a quart of whiskey. Oh, and life in prison without possibility of parole.

Maybe this was a tad harsh, but c'mon dude—the fucking weather?! Also, notice I didn't even mention the death penalty.  Too dark?

OK sorry
LOlz jifs!!1one

11 comments:

  1. Small talk is just so... small.

    ReplyDelete
  2. and what are the interesting conversations like? if any?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know that guy on dating sites that people complain about because they're rude.
    You are that guy. Stop being that guy.

    Ever consider that small talk grows into big(for want of a better word) talk? You seem like you're quite a smart guy, but not at all approachable.

    ReplyDelete
  4. dude wtf. i think he was genuinely trying to make an effort, and he definitely handled your banal "oh-god-everyone-is-so-banal-ennui-ennui-ennui-allow-me-to-ironically-roll-my-eyes" sardonic replies very professionally and graciously i would say. i have to admit he definitely came across as uninteresting, but you didn't have to shoot him down like that. poor kid.

    word is also spelled as parole, with an e.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor kid was only 46 years of age.

      Delete
    2. ah dude, ok my bad, you should have given more context! then now i think he deserved every bit of it!

      Delete
  5. This morning the weather is OK. It's a bit overcast, but the blue sky is peaking through here and there. The clouds are not even those sweet, puffy ones; they're those thin boring-looking ones.

    It's a little windy. Not that windy, but definitely enough that you want to put on a jacket, or at least a long sleeve shirt. Hopefully the sun will burn through this and we can all enjoy the sunshine and really "soak up the rays", if you will.

    10 am
    Sat
    May 11
    66°F
    Cloudy

    FEELS LIKE:
    66°

    HUMIDITY:
    84%

    PRECIP:
    0%

    WIND:
    SSW at 11 mph
    Show 15 Minute Details
    11 am 68°
    Cloudy

    FEELS LIKE:
    68°

    HUMIDITY:
    78%

    PRECIP:
    0%

    WIND:
    SSW at 13 mph
    Show 15 Minute Details
    12 pm 69°
    Cloudy

    FEELS LIKE:
    69°

    HUMIDITY:
    78%

    PRECIP:
    0%

    WIND:
    SSW at 12 mph
    Show 15 Minute Details
    Family Time ActivitiesYour Kids Will Love These Playtime Ideas.
    1 pm 70°
    Cloudy

    FEELS LIKE:
    70°

    HUMIDITY:
    76%

    PRECIP:
    10%

    WIND:
    SSW at 12 mph
    Show 15 Minute Details
    2 pm 70°
    Cloudy

    FEELS LIKE:
    70°

    HUMIDITY:
    76%

    PRECIP:
    0%

    WIND:
    SSW at 11 mph
    Show 15 Minute Details
    3 pm 69°
    Cloudy

    FEELS LIKE:
    69°

    HUMIDITY:
    78%

    PRECIP:
    5%

    WIND:
    SSW at 10 mph

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dude you should be a weather reporter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'd like to have my own shot at this:
    "Bromollectual"? What are you - a brofessional wordsmith?
    And how is it in Chicago - did you ever drive to New York, in a van, with your friend?

    ReplyDelete
  8. The windy city gif is on point! I can safely say that since I'm born and raised Chicago broheim.

    NYC all fuc*ing day!

    ReplyDelete