Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Ry Guy

First off: 50,000+ page views—sweet. Almost makes this shit feel like not a total waste-of-wasting time.

Ryan came to stay at my pad last weekend in a somewhat impromptu visit. I had told him that he "should come stay at my place sometime". And while he definitely tries to play it pretty cool, the fact that he came two days after I invited him says something.

I saw him from a distance and smiled to myself at his predictably preppy attire. Boat shoes, bro? Obviously. We hugged hello casually and agreed that we should grab a beer somewhere outside.

We quaffed and talked and bantered. He's is a pretty cute bro, I thought. He's not the stud-type bro that I tend to go for, but he's cute as shit.

We drank some more and eventually went back to my place and hung out a bit and waited for my roommate to come back. Their introduction was pretty much awkward-free and the three of us walked off to get some dinner.

I wasn't that drunk, but I don't really remember the details of dinner very well. I remember that everything went well and we all got along and laughed a lot. The advantage with Ryan is that he can actually keep up with our esoteric references and dark humor.

After dinner it started pouring rain and we couldn't find a cab so we arrived home drenched. My roommate had to be up early so he wasn't coming out, but Ryan and I changed and headed back out into the night.

I'd been outpacing Ry guy all day, but then without warning he started getting ragey. He cheers-ed me casually and then proceeded to pound his gin and tonic.

Fast forward a bit and we stumbled into an immaculately clean do-it-yourself froyo place that was "just closing".
"We won't make a mess," we lied.
A few minutes later I was wrestling him standing up, much to the amusement of the sixteen-year-old workers. Things did get a little messy, but we paid for whatever insane concoction we brewed up and left.

We walked by a gay bar.
"I hate gay bars."
"Me too.
"Fuck it."
There was a line, but there was another door right next to the line and the bouncer let us cut everyone. Chill, but also: obviously.

Ryan glanced around.
"We are by far the best looking guys in this bar."
"Haha, you douche," I said, tussling his hair. 
Then we really starting bingeing hard and saying stupider shit. This is where my memories get a little hazier, but I remember we started to get kind of playfully affectionate and may have made out against a wall briefly.

Fast forward again and we're running around the park sack-tapping each other, roughhousing and making out?  I don't know. I have never played that "game" with anyone before, hetero or not, but apparently I started it? That was also maybe the second time I've made out with a dude in a public space. At least in this country. I'll give the ethanol some credit/blame for these shenanigans.

We got back at like 3:30AM and I was like "bro, we are not hooking up, I am passing out right now."

We woke up the next morning really hung over, but still in the mood to hook up.

Now it was time for a little deja vu: he was being a bag of shit and wasn't acting that into it. This is a weird feeling for me because people usually get crazy with me. Ryan is so fucking inhibited. I basically said "dude what the fuck?" a couple of times. And both times he responded that he was really into it and that he wanted me to fuck him. And I believe him, but he needs to fucking show it.

So we hooked up on and off all day, including a couple bang seshes. It wasn't bad per se, just compared to John the sex is a fucking joke.

I like him, but I feel like good sexual chemistry is pretty important. To be fair, both of the times have been when we were hung over, and usually the first time you hook up with someone is drunk. Not that you should have to be drunk to have good sex, or any sex, obviously, but I feel like he'd definitely be less inhibited with some booze in him. I know I'm a fuckload more aggressive when I'm drunk.

I think I'll give him one more shot.


  1. I'll be honest dude, I'm probably responsible for like 40,000 of those those page views.

  2. I'm the other 10k @brotastic.

    Congrats NH on the traffic. People respond to honesty for better or worse.

  3. Impossible. Kenn-do is at least 5,000.

  4. I'll wrestle Kenn-do for the title!


    FWD: boat shoes

    1. What does this even all mean?? Or is my hungover brain just not working

  5. whattt???? me 5000??? hahahaha