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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Clues Your Friend Is Not Hetero


  1. He cares about personal hygiene/grooms himself/is not dirty
  2. He wears nice clothes
  3. He owns a pink shirt
  4. He doesn't play sports
  5. He's fashionable
  6. He's tidy with his stuff
  7. He ate a salad once
  8. He is "out of your league" and isn't interested in you
  9. He watches X
  10. He listens to Y
  11. He says Z
  12. Other ridiculous bullshit

Alright you get the idea. For the record, much of the above list might be more accurately be "clues your friend is European".  And before my list, let me go ahead and admit it's not going to be perfect or applicable to everyone, but based on my experience, it's a more accurate compilation of clues that your friend is not a hetero. It's also less about any individual clue than many in conjunction. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

No Hetero in the Workplace Part II - Sam


I'm still at the same job. I like it more or less. It's flexible, fairly stimulating and not stressful. I've also become good friends with one of my coworkers, Sam, who shares my office. Sam is a couple years younger, a couple inches taller—maybe 6"3—and a couple 10s of pounds lighter than I am. He has a brown swooping coif of fine, brown hair that sits just above his boyishly handsome face.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Engaged Bro Pt 2

I hooked up with this guy again. It was fun. He was hot.



I wasn't sure if I'd hear from him again due to him "having a girl" and all, but he has actually been fairly persistent in emailing me to see when we could meet up next. Emails because we don't text because derpderpderp he's paranoid as fuck. As if I'm going to send a picture of my junk or some shit. Idiot.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bro Mail #1


I've receive a number of emails over the months from bros giving feedback or just saying what's up. Some are pretty cool, so I'll start occasionally publishing them with the sender's permission.

Chill to see Where in the World is Non Hetero. This one's in the Philippines.



Hey man,

I was going to make a work plan this afternoon for this project I'm working on but every time I pulled up Word to begin, I couldn't get your voice out of my head. I tried and failed, and thought, I just have to introduce myself to you.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Engaged Bro

Annnnnd I hooked up with a dude that's engaged. To a woman.  He's 24.

This is obviously a bad idea. I realize this. But apparently making bad decisions is my jam now.
Guys cuddling

The "problem" is that he's sexy as fuck. He played football in college and is currently a third year med student. He's about 5'11 with buzzed brown hair a handsome face, and a great fucking smirk of a smile. Oh and his body is basically perfect.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Thursday, September 5, 2013

A Portrait of Non Hetero as a Young Bro - Pt 1

Some people are surprised to learn that I was never a child. They'll say things like "well I'm sure you did that when you were a one-year-old, too". This is super awkward for me though because I was never a baby, or a child. I decided to skip that whole phase of life and become an adult. I have met some kids though. Youngins are kind of cool in that they are so shameless and self-motivated, yet completely reliant on adults to keep them alive.
My childhood was a pretty good time. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Pursuit of Happiness & Telling Another Bro

Vacation is a strange thing. It's obviously great in many ways, but if you actually let yourself become absorbed by it, it's jarring to return to your regularly scheduled life.


Living the way I'm living is jarring in general, actually. I feel like I'm a slightly different version of myself depending whom I'm around, and the situation.

I think part of the reason non heteros are sometimes very high-achieving is because we feel we have to compensate for this 'flaw' of not being hetero. This is clearly bullshit on some level, but also makes sense on another, and explains a decent slice of societal behavior. And at the end of the day, what's wrong with being high-achieving? Sure, being comfortable and honest with yourself is more valuable than some arbitrary achievement, but the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. I do feel comfortable in my own skin, and I don't wish I were hetero, really. Maybe to make shit easier, sometimes, but I do like how I don't feel quite the same as anyone else on the planet.

One of the reasons why I've waited such a long time to tell people, and why I'm still not open about it to everyone is that I feel like I "have a lot to lose". I have great friends and family; I was born into essentially an aristocratic family--no that doesn't mean we're super loaded. And while I think all that shit is inherently flawed and mostly rejected it, tried to be my own bro and be "down to earth" or whatever, I have undeniably benefited from it. When you have a door marked "be a successful big shot" it's hard to quell the curiosity to take a peak. I know it's the wrong door for me, but people have a way of constantly, and indirectly reminding me of these "opportunities".

I do want to live an interesting and substantial life--not just chill on a beach some where--but I'm trying to do it on my own terms.

I'm just trying to be fucking happy here.

I also told another friend I'm not hetero. He was a family friend that I didn't know that well, but he kept talking about bitches so I just got sick of it and told him. It went like this:








Solid finish, again.