Thursday, December 19, 2013

Bro Date

Big date tomorrow guys. With past ones I've pretty much always gone into it with doubts, but tried to be optimistic and give the guy the full benefit. "He seems fairly masculine" or "he seems kinda cool," I'd rationalize.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Naturally Dumb

The "argument"[1][2] that "being nonhetero is unnatural" is as dumb as it is poorly thought out.

First of all, the idea that natural things are always good and unnatural things are always bad is false. I pointed this out regarding drugs, but here's a completely exhaustive infographic

Monday, December 9, 2013

Bro Mail #2

I don't even mind that some/most/all of it is obviously made up. 

* * *

yo dude you inspired me to conduct a grindr experiment of my own this past weekend. Findings are as follows:

Work was a little slow on Friday, so I downloaded grindr (think there should be another vowel in there somewhere) and did a little reconnaissance so I would be able to blend in with the other dudes on said app. After about 30 seconds on there, I knew exactly how to play it, so after work I went to the gym and made a beeline for the locker room where I snapped a shirtless selfie (you know, so I could really put myself inside the machine) and waited eagerly for the esteemed High Council of Photo Reviewers to pass judgment on my pic. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life, but I must have met all the necessary requirements (see: not being a chick) because all of a sudden instead of a picture of that weird grindr logo (it's a mask, right? Subtle.) there it was, my headless torso! I was too excited to actually work out so I sprinted back to my apartment and checked to see if I had any messages. Nothing. It was a serious blow to my ego, so I decided to drown my sorrows the only way I know how: binge drinking. I was blacked out for two whole days, finally returning to an acceptable level of cognizance last night. After eating my weight in fries and drinking a bathtub full of water so as to avoid an epic hangover, I remembered my foray into the world of grindr and reluctantly checked to see if there were any dudes within a two mile radius who were interested in jumpin my bones. 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


A few readers had emailed me and recommended that I try out grindr again, claiming they met their long-time boyfriend through it. Engaged bro is now gone and I don't want to start things back up with Ryan so I've been bored and looking for a dude. Honestly, I did this mostly as a social experiment, as it's always immediately apparent that grindr has very little to offer a bro like me. I installed the app and submitted a shark-attack picture for review. 10 minutes later I had about 50 messages. This was already seeming more like a burden than something useful.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Today's post is dedicated to Paul Walker, my ultimate bro crush, who died going 2 fast 2 furiously.

Going home is always a mixed bag for me.