Monday, September 22, 2014

Life is just so, ___. Ya know? Sean 2.0

Huge news. I took a Facebook "quiz" that said that I should move to New Zealand. This has been, like, a life/religious/spiritual epiphany of sorts for me. I finally feel like I "get it". Answers come into focus; meaning abounds. As such, I am writing this from Christchurch.

Anyways, thanks for your emails. I've been alright.

* * * 

I stopped seeing Ald—he just wasn't the bro for me. A couple weeks later I met Sean. No, not this Sean. A new Sean. Fuck that other Sean. He lives in San Fran and is a head case. Regardless, Sean and I met at a concert.  This is "true", but also a lie. We "met" on Tinder, but we actually met up for the first time at a concert. I was there all fugged up with my buddy, he the same with his bros.

Sean is handsome, 5'10, has short brown hair, blue eyes and bro-y style. Think high black socks and grey vans. Sounds pretty good, but he's twenty-fucking-one. Goddamn all these young dudes. I do not seek it out, trust me. Ideally I'd like someone my age or a little older.

Sean only had one prior experience with a guy: his friend's brother blew him one time. That's all. Despite this, he ditched his bros and secretly met me on the top level of music venue. Surreptitious as fuck, y'all.  It was pretty dark, but we immediately were into each other and, given we were effed up, we went ahead and made out in public a bit. No one really seemed to notice. Or at least I didn't notice that they noticed, namean?

Regardless, we liked each other and hung out a bunch over the summer while he was here for an internship. We hooked up on my roof, had sex in the shower, etc. Good times. He also made much faster progress than I did at his age (dude, I know—STFU) and has already told his sister (she thinks I'm hawt!!~) and his frat bro roommate at college. Still, he's four hours away and five years younger. Both are unchill.

He's weird about our relationship because he has said there is "no way he would come out in college". I think it's mostly because he's really involved with his fraternity. And I felt exactly the same way. And I totally see shit from his perspective. That said, I don't really want to long distance date a guy in college. I don't think he really wants to date either, but I think he kind of expects that when he comes home I'll be around. And maybe I will. But maybe I won't. I just started up grad school so I'm pretty damn busy myself, but that does not mean I don't get horny

If he lived in the same city as me I would probably give dating him a shot. But he does not. He also doesn't know what he is going to do after graduation, but is thinking about moving to LA. So I really don't think it's going to work out. He gets pissed off at me if I bring up any of this real shit. I don't know, he's a youngin'. I do miss him though.

We'll see.


  1. Thought you were dead, man. I feel your pain though, my bf lives in a different city

  2. Keep looking, you know what you want.

  3. Its weird isn't it - first guy I dated, wasn't out at all and he was, but slowly got the ball rolling and then became out to those who matter... Now when I meet a guy and the roles reversed (me being out, him not really) that I dig, I'm selfishly like "why don't you have your shit together already man".. Kinda messed up how that works.. haha.

  4. What do you usually use as your first message on tinder? the 'hey man how's it going' isn't doin it for me anymore.

  5. Hope you're alive out there.. haha